This morning I was looking through old journals from this summer and I stumbled across something I wrote in August that I shared on an old blog of mine, A Ray of Sunshine …as I read through my own words I felt like I was being reminded of the the sweet, carefree, and joyous spirit that I had this last summer. I miss that girl. I miss her adventurous spirit and her desire to submit to whatever the Lord has planned for her. I miss her constant laughter, her infectious smile, and her constant joy in even the simplest things.
I think through stressing out about jobs, money, and life in general, I have lost sight of that girl and all that she embodies. The crazy thing is, last summer was the most unstable and uncertain season I have ever experienced….and I’m not talking about the weather here people. I was unsure about jobs, my future, school, living situations, and so so so much more….but because of this, I clung to the Lord in a way that I never had before. Because of this, I was drawn so close to him and I was blessed with a truly amazing summer. My heart was so full of joy, love, and contentment.
But as the last days of summer dripped away like a melting ice cream cone, so did this joyous girl I once knew.
And now here I am, longing for more….but more of what? More adventures? More opportunities? More money? More clothes? I’ve discovered that none of that will do. In order to find that girl again, I must find less…less of me; less worry, less doubt, less discontentment, less anxiety, less criticism, less materialism, less control. It is when I find less of these things and more of Jesus that life falls into place according to HIS purpose instead of my own…and that is a beautiful thing.